my story

My husband and I were married in the temple. I was 20 years old. We had a short courtship and a year long engagement. We have now been married for five years, no children (by choice).

I am a convert to the Church and joined it when I was 18. The husband has been a lifelong member, served an honorable mission, and took me to the temple as a worthy priesthood holder.

Pornography entered our lives after one year and a half of being married.

It entered his life when he was 15 years old. He was sober for over six years, but relapsed after we were married. The relapses were at first few and far between, and have recently become more often and closer together. I remember thinking that it wasn't a big deal. I didn't realize it was a problem until summer 2008. He talked to the bishop and I thought we'd be good. After that he went eight months without looking at it and started relapsing every two months or so, the last time was in early December 2009. I was heart broken. I was ready to walk away and be done. Again he went and talked to the bishop, this time it was taken very seriously, not just by our bishop, but by my husband. It has now been 29 days since he last looked at pornography. He's attending addiction recovery meetings, seeing a counselor, and working hard to get our marriage back together. I'm attending the PASG meetings, which stands for Pornography Addicts Support Group for Women. We use a 12 step manual that has not yet been officially published by the church, but is being used through LDS family services throughout the US.

Once everything fell apart I started looking for resources online for women, and I was sad to find very little on the Internet for the spouses. So I decided to do this as my journal, and a way for other women to have access to links, resources, and the manual so that I could help someone else heal through this too.

If you would like a copy of the manual please e-mail me at ldswifesupport@gmail.com or click on the side bar and download the manual.

Much love.

Image from here